Kimchi - A Poem

Smelly Wee, ‘cause I ate kimchi

The room smells like farts

Care-home cabbage that never departs

Puts the “ass” in brassica

I enjoy the crunch and the post breath pong

A jar never lasts me long

Fermented, demented, love cemented

It doesn’t pair with tea, or polite company

No one comes near me

After my 375g serving of kimchi

A scent you smell from afar

My fingers assault the jar

Shredded veg ideally suited for a spork

This isn’t just talk, I walk the walk

To the working class: this ain’t a conspiracy

You eat pickled wallies from the chippy

So I dare you, try a jar of kimchi

Cabbage, carrots, a daikon or three

Sometimes with ginger and a smack of chilli

We could learn some lessons from a pot of kimchi

It’s alive like Johnny Number 5, cultures thrive

It’s one of the few snacks that’s good for me

I will never give up on my jar of kimchi.